Funniest Pond Stories
Part 1, May 2004
by Brett Fogle
Reprinted, with permission, from Pond Stuff, newsletter of
macarthurwatergardens.com
of Baton Rouge, Florida
Aquarticles
We had some hilarious, truly gut wrenching, laugh out-loud stories sent in by some of
you. Here we're going to highlight some of the funniest stories for you to read.
We had entries from all over the place, including one all the way from THAILAND! The
competition was fierce, and to be honest - I had a really hard time deciding on one
'funniest' story, but here's a brief rundown of our entries: cats, dogs, and bunnies (?)
all taking the Nestea plunge right into the water, a hungry KOI nibbling in dangerous
territory, a missing flip flop, an electrifying experience for grandma, fun for the whole
family, and flying fish to boot!
First, let's start with this very funny story about 'Smokey' - who apparently thinks he
can walk on water. This was sent in by Mike Lachance from Maryland:
Funny Pond Story #1
"I wish I had a photo to share of this very true story, but any ponder with cats has
likely had the same experience at some time or another. Several years ago when I was
enjoying the second season of my first pond (I have now built four as I've moved around),
one of our cats, "Smokey", who was a natural hunter in her prime, saw a
mockingbird alight on a lily pad to get a drink of water. Well, old "Smokester"
slowly crept out from under some day lilies and made a spectacular jump with all four paws
majestically carrying her like a flying squirrel, right for that intruding bird.
'It is not as though she had not already had a couple of encounters with the water but
that day the feathered treat must have been too much for her to pass up. Well, both my
wife and I were there to see her make a wonderful belly flop into the pond.
'Of course, the bird was out of the way in plenty of time and I swear that that cat
walked on her toes the five feet it took her to get out of the water! And of course, after
removing herself from the water, in a very nonchalant manner, proceeded to lift each leg,
shake off the water and as much as say "I meant to do that, you know."
'Smokey often spent time at the pond later, using her tail to attract the fish (she
would put it in the water and swish it around and the fish would come up to explore it.
She never did catch one). She also loved to sit at the waterfall and enjoy the water
moving past her.
'So that is my funny pond story."
Funny Pond Story #2
"Dear All at McArthur,
'My funniest pond story is about my late aunt, who introduced me to the joy of backyard
ponds. Donna had a large koi pond in her backyard to which she devoted endless amounts of
love and attention. As happens with most ponds, Spring brought some uninvited guests...in
this case frogs. One evening Donna was working on the pond, checking the
cantankerous pump and filter system and using her net to skim out leaves and whatnot
that had blown in.
'My 80+ plus year old grandmother was supervising the work and offering her expert
opinion on how to proceed. They were amazed at the number of frogs that had taken up
residence, and not too happy about it. Donna noticed a frog swimming at the far side of
the pond that she wanted to get out...something was not quite right about the way he was
swimming, and she pointed him out to Grandma. "Mom, look at that frog swimming on his
back!" Grandma was a bit skeptical...frogs doing the back stroke were a phenomenon
that she was unfamiliar with.
'She advised that this misfit should be removed immediately. Don't want to give the
other little froggies strange ideas. Donna made several attempts at scooping the miscreant
up with her net, but he was just out of reach. Only one thing left to do. Roll up your
shorts and wade in after him. The answer to Mr. Frog's strange swimming technique became
painfully obvious as soon as Donna reached his immediate vicinity....a faulty underwater
light had shorted and electrocuted him!
'Donna didn't need her electric rollers for a few days after that!"
Enecia Sabroff.
Funny Pond Story #3
"Hello,
'My husband recently bought a beagle puppy, at this time he was 8 weeks old. My husband
also bought two almost semi-tame rabbits to help train the puppy to track rabbits. At this
time I only had one pond that was pre-formed 550 gallons. My husband put one of the
rabbits out to play with the puppy. The rabbit was teasing the puppy, running a
little ways then jumping over his head. Then the rabbit decided he didn't want to play any
more so he started to run from Bear (the puppy), and he dove into the pond. We were
thinking that Bear would go around the pond to the other side and continue chasing the
bunny, but Bear just dove right in. He was so little though that he had to be rescued from
the small backyard pond.
'My husband's only response was "He's going to be a good rabbit dog!"
Well, thanks for listening to my story.
Sincerely,
Roberta Collins.
Toledo, Ohio
Funny Pond Story #4
"A story to share...
'Two years ago I started with the crazy idea of building a small pond with koi fishes.
After a lot of working I finally built it, and decorated it with all sort of plants.
'One day my female cat “Manchita” went to the pond to examine this new
construction. She went to the border, jumped on a flat stone and started to drink water.
To her big surprise one of the fish, possibly thinking that the white nose of my cat was
food, jumped out of the water trying to eat it. Can you imagine the surprise of the cat? I
believe that the fish was also quite impressed with the experience.
'My cat almost fell into the pond, and from then on she never went around the pond
again. She used to watch the pond from my dorm, located in the second floor and just
across the pond.
'Unfortunately “Manchita” is not around any more; she passed away a few
months ago, from old age. This story happened in Valdivia, a city located in the south of
Chile. In this country winter is approaching, with lots of leaves falling from the trees
and the plants in my pond preparing themselves to sleep for a while."
Maria Fresard.
Funny Pond Story #5
"I have two ponds, an upper and lower pond. The upper pond is fed by a waterfall with
the source being the lower pond (driven by a pump). The lower pond is fed by an overflow
of the upper pond that flows underground for about 70 feet (12 in.drainpipe).
'Last summer I rescued some trout fingerlings from a seasonal stream going dry near my
home. I put them in the lower pond. This Spring I was sitting in my kitchen and could see
something flopping on my waterfall. The trout had migrated up the overflow tube and were
trying to swim further upstream via the waterfalls.
'Not so funny but does show the strength of nature.
'Just a few weeks ago, egrets found the pond and the fish. There is nothing left to
migrate at this time. Not so funny but does an egret taste anything like a turkey when
cooked?"
Tom Gegenheimer.
Funny Pond Story #6
"We have only had a pond for a short time ... details can be seen at
http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/
'The funny story must include the workmen (in Thailand) who took zero safety
precautions when constructing the pond.
'Watching guys shovelling concrete from a lorry and spreading it across the bottom of
the pond when the footwear they had was just 'flip-flops' resulted in great entertainment,
especially when several times the flip-flops came off and were lost in the cement
somewhere (eventually found while they walked around bare footed) .... pictures at:
http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03062.jpg
http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03070.jpg
http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03060.jpg
'Strangely it was only the guys .... the women laborers all wore Wellington boots ....
maybe this reflects on which of the sexes is really the most sensible?"
Regards,
Chris.
Funny Pond Story #7
"I was building a pond at this time and I was in the process of building a waterfall
in the corner of a fence. The waterfall was about 3 feet high and 7 feet wide. I decided
to finish up the waterfall with some flat rocks on the very top. So I straddled the
waterfall with my knees on the second ledge and set the flat rocks on top. When I did this
the whole waterfall fell down because I built it on blocks and not a pile of dirt.
'When it fell, one big rock caught my foot and I slid down the fall and fell backwards
into the pond, going all the way under, and had a couple of big rocks come down on me.
Meanwhile my wife is laughing her butt off at me and I asked her to help me out. She
slipped on the flat wet rock that surrounded the pond's edge and fell in with me.
'Now my two boys were playing in the yard (they are 5 and 3) and saw this happen to us
and they thought it was time to go swimming. So guess who jumped into the pond with us? -
the boys. Nothing like having the whole family in on the pond.
'We laughed for a while but then I had to rebuild the whole waterfall again. This time
I put the top rocks on from the side."
Robert H Coppa Jr.
Funny Pond Story #8
"I decided 300 gallons would be perfect. I did all the math and spent a great deal of
time working with more experienced ponders. Somehow when it was all said and done my
little 300 gallon pond ended up being 810 gallons, and come to find out it was yet another
one of my mathematical errors. Guess I should have paid more attention in that college
level math class required for my Associates, right?
'We got the pond all up and running, but because of the miscalculation we now needed a
bigger pump to feed the waterfall. So I went to our local water garden supplier and asked
which one to get. Budget was a concern so it was recommended that we get a ¾ HP
submersible pump that cycles 44 gallons a minute. It was only $70 in comparison to the
$170 one that was its comparative alternative, so we went that route. $70 later we
had a working pond with a beautiful waterfall! I was so excited I could hardly wait to get
fish.
'Again budget was a concern, so we went to the local pet store and picked up $50
dollars' worth of fish. About 8 fish: 4 large gold koi, some yellow and a blue koi. The
colors excited me so much I never considered what would happen when the fish became
comfortable in their new home. They swam around investigating for a day or two then
started to come up missing. I had it figured that they were hiding or that a cat was
getting fed too well, but I never figured it was something I could have done...
'It was the pump… The intake valve on the pump was too large and the fish were
getting too close and being sucked into the pump through the motor and pushed down the
hose into my waterfall.
'While this is not a funny story. I must have cried for 3 days. I wanted to share it
because this is the one thing I never read anything about in all the 6 weeks of reading I
did on the Web. I can chuckle about it now with a ‘I can’t believe I didn’t
think of that’ thought.
'Had I known this was possible I would have done something to prevent it by caging in
my pump or spending the extra $100 to get the right kind of pump.
'Hope someone else can save a koi by my blending experience."
Thanks..
New to ponds and already thinking of making it fish free!
Sheri Furr.
Well that's it for this year's 'Funniest Pond Stories'... Hope you enjoyed them as
much as I did!
June 2004: Readers of Pondstuff voted on which was the
funniest story. The winner was number 7.
Brett Fogle is the owner of MacArthur Water Gardens and several
pond-related websites including macarthurwatergardens.com and pond-filters-online.com.
He also publishes a free monthly newsletter called PondStuff! with a reader circulation of
over 6,000 pond owners. To sign up for the free newsletter and receive a complimentary
'New Pond Owners Guide' for joining, just visit http://www.macarthurwatergardens.com
Specializing in pond filtration and clear water solutions since 1995 |